(gentle guitar music) ♪ ♪ (gentle music swells) ♪ ♪ (band conductor) Deep breath in, then sigh, walk it off if you need to.

Five, six, seven, eight, and in.

(rhythmic snapping) (deep breathing) And in.

(applause, cheering) (sousaphone plays) ♪ (Alex) I remember one time my social worker had come to see me at the Boys and Girls Club.

And a girl from my school had asked, "Who was that?

Was that your dad?"

(cheering) I said, "No, that’s my social worker."

She said, "Why, did you do something?"

And I said, "No."

And it just really bothered me.

People assume that if you’re in a foster home that you did something.

You do things that are illegal, like, you do crimes.

You’re a bad kid, you’re not smart.

But that’s not the case.

Sometimes it’s way out of their control.

Sometimes they’re just in a foster home because their parents couldn’t take care of them.

(audience cheers) (whistle blows) Honestly, I think being labelled a foster child isn’t a good thing.

It gives other children the right to separate themselves from you.

Not the right, but it gives them the opportunity to do that, because you’re not like us.

And hearing other people call them "no good," or call them "dumb" or "idiots" because they’re in a foster home, and it’s not even their fault?

Makes that much worse.

(drum beating in time) (band conductor) Stomp, stomp, stomp.

♪ Stomp, stomp.

♪ Stomp, stomp, stomp.

♪ (phone message pings) (tender music swells) ♪ Foster youth are normal youth, they’re--they’re teenagers when they get to high school.

The problem is, once we get to high school, that’s you we see the spike in instability for foster youth, right, because they’re going through teenage angst, and puberty, and--and they’re changing, they’re defining who they are as a human being, and that’s really hard for foster parents who aren’t used to that, to have to adjust, right?

Who, if the youth is having a bad day, to not say, "You know what, I don’t wanna deal with your bad day, or your changing emotions, I’m just gonna say you go to a new foster home."

Our foster youth move schools an average of eight times while they’re in care.

And it’s not just moving schools, it’s new teachers, new friends.

You don’t have the school uniform, you don’t have the clothes that everyone else is wearing.

Foster youth are the only, sort of, underprivileged population that doesn’t have a right to speak out on their own behalf, so I think having the United States, and--and the country understand what these youth are facing, but also hearing it from them, is something that--that, that hasn’t been done before.

♪ (indistinct chatter) Notice something different?

(Sue) You had a shave?

Nice to see your face!

(Alex) Can you help me?

-Probably easier-- -I’ve lost something.

(Sue) Wait, let me help undo it.

There you go, turn around.

(Alex) The band teacher was telling us that you have to wear your tux with, uh, some, like, Christmas accessories, and I raised my hand, and I said, "Oh, well, what if I have a Santa outfit?"

And he’s like, "Well, we can talk after class."

And so...he said okay after a while.

Sue, this beard smells funny.

(Sue laughs) (Sue) Oh, dear.

-Should we brush it?

-No, please.

-Can you brush it?

-No, I don’t think so.

(Sue) Mm, it’s lovely.

Is there a little hole mouth?

Ooh, man!

(Will) Yeah, it smells really bad.

(Alex) No, Will, you can’t do it yourself, it’s bad.

Well, you could do it yourself, but...

There you go.

(Sue) All right, I--honestly, I think that’s the best.

You look fabulous.

(Alex) Thank you.

(Sue) Right, are we ready?

Are you ready?

(indistinct chatter) All right, off you go.

Okay, bye, Sue.

(Sue) Bye, babes, have fun!

I--do I get made fun of?

Do I just let the making-fun-of-ness happen?

(Sue) They’re making fun of Christmas, so, I don’t think anyone will, you’ll be all right.

(Alex) That’s true.

(Sue) Bye, babe.

I will be up in the bleachers in the back.

(melancholic music) ♪ Alex came here with Will, and then, I remember, he said that him and Will were friends through the band.

Will had a sleepover, and a few of his friends stayed overnight, and here’s the kid who’s helping clean up, you know?

(Sue laughs) ♪ And he would sit and chat with me and Al.

He started off in a foster home, and then he went to a family living situation, and it just didn’t work out.

And then he went to a group home, and Will was actually really upset, and he said, "You know, you’re never gonna guess what’s happened, he’s ended up, now he’s in a group home."

I just looked at Al and I said, "I just--I don’t like the idea of him in a group home," you know?

And so I said, "You know, we’ve got an extra room, why don’t we just see if he wants to come here?"

We were still eating at the table, and Will just texted him, ’cause that’s kids, "Do you wanna come and stay with us for a bit?"

And I saw the text, it was just a, "Yeah," and, like, a million exclamation points.

And it just went from there.

(serious music) ♪ ♪ (indistinct chatter) (young man) Hi, Alex.

-I call top bunk.

-What?

-I call top bunk.

-All right.

Keisha, did you bring any CDs, or no?

-Some what?

-CDs?

(Keisha) No.

Sleeping with Sirens, Never Shout Never, and Evanescence, and Great Big World, and Pierce the Veil.

(young man) Yeah, and I brought my bible, so I could read it at night.

Roll of the dice.

(he laughs) (zipper unzipping) (grunting) (Alex) Why are we cleaning the space?

-My charger’s too bulky.

-No, it’s not.

(boy) Yeah, it is, look.

(Alex) No, no, this will work.

(boy) Hey, it’s charging like that.

(Alex) You’re welcome.

Basically, I’m one of six children, but I’m the lucky one, I was the only one not born addicted to some sort of drug.

When my mom would always, like, do drugs and all that, she used to like, feed me, so that I wouldn’t bother her when she was like shooting heroin or something.

We were going from apartment to apartment, we would never pay the rent, we would just sneak out the back.

My mom finally got arrested, and I was placed with my grandmother.

That was a good thing, but a bad thing, ’cause I--I was always yelled at by my stepdad, and then things--well, he wasn’t really my step-dad, but he was just like, the father figure, I guess.

And things then started to get, like, physical.

(Justin) Right.

Physically abusive at my house, and I asked to leave, because I didn’t want it to get worse.

(Justin) I used to think of foster children as like, you know, damaged goods no one really wanted.

And...I dunno, once I became one, it’s like, my whole perspective just shifted and all, so.

You know, is that-- if that’s what everyone will think of as foster child, then how can they ever see the qualities that they possess, how can they ever see that they might be a great dancer, or a gifted musician, or, uh, I dunno, a lawyer, a doctor, just-- who can see the potential in a damaged good, really?

(Andrea) Oh, snap, eyebrows popping tonight.

Pow!

(laughter) You get my artistry on, uh... (Tiffany) Being in foster care, people always ask me things like, "How does it feel to be in foster care?"

-Whatchu mean, like?

-What is it like to be-- Like, they treat it like it’s some kinda disease, like.

Like, cancer, or something, so like.

And, when people ask you this, you kind of have in your mind already what you’re gonna say, you’re like, "Oh, you know, it sucks, but, you know, I made it through."

Or, "Oh, you know, it wasn’t the greatest, but I’m not a--I’m not a victim of my circumstance."

We’re not crazy.

We’re not all, like, we don’t all have, like, depressing lives.

(Tiffany) We’re not, like, helpless, like, we’re not like, "Oh, I’m a foster child, and I can’t do anything because I’m a foster child, I’m a ward of the court, and--" Like, it’s not like that.

It’s like, okay, I’ve been through some stuff.

It is who I am, I gotta deal with it and live life, like.

I hate when people are like-- How does that--how do you feel?

Yeah, you know, like, or, "How does-- how does being in foster care make you different," like.

Well, for me, I just don’t think about it.

-Right!

-I live my life.

(Tiffany) It’s kinda one of those things you just put in the back.

Way back, but when you bring it up, that’s when... it just all comes tumbling down.

Yeah.

Kinda sucks.

Hm.

(bucket clattering) (Alex) Do you think you could put, like, a stripe down Caesar’s back, and pass him off as a skunk?

(Alan) Yeah, call him Pepe Le Pew.

(Alex) Yeah.

(cameraman) And so, what are you guys painting?

(Alan) We’re looking to sell this place and move to somewhere bigger.

Um, it’s mostly Alex’s fault, since he moved in, everywhere’s too small.

No, no, it’s not.

Um.. See all this stuff on the ceiling now?

Brown sort of splotches?

(Alex) Oh, that’s from me.

Sorry, it was just ’cause I was trying to get all the way to the little edge right here.

-And so I marked the top-- -Yeah, you can’t-- you can’t do it with your roller, Alex.

You have to do it with the brush.

(tea kettle whistling) (Sue) "Nothing," what, what happened, what’ve you done?

-Nothing.

-What broke?

(Alex) No, Sue, nothing broke!

-No, there’s something.

-No, Sue, there’s nothing.

-I don’t trust you.

-You don’t trust me, Sue?

-What’ve you done?

-I-I’ve done nothing!

(Sue) It’s the floor.

No, it’s actually not the floor.

(Sue) Yeah, that’s what-- so there is something.

Yeah, there is.

(Sue) What, what the hell was-- oh, the ceiling!

(Alex) What about the ceiling?

Did you get paint on the ceiling?

-No.

-Just there?

(Alex) No, there’s no paint on the ceiling.

What?

(Sue) I dunno, he’s bluffing.

Alex has changed a little bit since moving in.

We’re really calm people.

We don’t argue.

Well, we do, but we don’t shout, we don’t throw things, you know, we don’t get drunk.

I always say, "We’re quiet people in a noisy world."

(thoughtful music) ♪ And Alex has been in situations that have been really stressful.

♪ And the first time we had an argument, he told me that he hated me.

And I said, "Be careful, those are really strong words, and think about whether you actually mean them."

And a little bit later, he said, "I understand if you want me to leave."

And I said, "No, ’course not, that’s what families do, they argue, and then they talk about it, and then they apologize, and get over it.

You’re not leaving ’cause you’ve had an argument, that’s not how families work, you’re stuck with us, you have to stay."

But I don’t think he’s been through that, I think he’s lived in just complete turmoil in his biological family’s home.

♪ His grandma, it was her boyfriend who was very abusive to Alex.

♪ And, yet, he loves that person.

♪ He absolutely loves him, and he wants to see them.

♪ And I really struggle with that, because I want him to know this person, but they’re not a good role model in his life.

So, it’s a difficult situation to be in, because I want to protect him from that man.

His family, he just remembers so fondly, and even though awful things happened to him, he still has such a strong bond with them.

♪ (indistinct chatter) ♪ (door closes) (Ms.

Crystal) Oh, oh, they gave you a receipt?

Yeah, I need to give these back to them when I go get my phone.

(Ms.

Crystal) As soon as you get outta school, you come here, see me, and then-- -And just go?

-Yep.

(Alyssa) Okay.

We got juice?

(Ms.

Crystal) Juice--no, you gonna make it?

You can make some tea like you did yesterday.

Obviously it was good.

The kids are like my kids.

They were in situations that were not in their power to control.

♪ So, they get placed here, and we as caregivers are trying to help them go through and maneuver life as much as possible.

We’re trying to keep them safe, because that’s what being in the group home is supposed to be about.

Somebody has to care for them.

Their parent might not be capable, for whatever reason, but I believe somebody is always here for somebody else.

You make your family who you make your family.

♪ Ms. Betty can’t cook.

(Alyssa) I had one and it was too spicy.

(Ms.

Crystal) We wear many hats here.

We’re like the therapist, we’re like the teacher, we’re like the mom, the grandmother, the aunt, we’re all of that.

We try to be like a parent, but we know we’re not, and they will bring that up to us, where, "You’re not my mom, you can’t tell me what to do."

No, I’m--we’re not trying to.

This is a temporary placement.

We do the best we can with what we have.

♪ (phone ringing) ♪ This is Crystal.

♪ Yes, I do, you’re Maya’s social worker.

(Ms.

Crystal laughs) Yes, ma’am.

♪ (phone message pings) (tender guitar music) ♪ Even in 1890, before there was a field of psychology, and it was philosophy, William James was talking about this idea of an imagined or possible self.

And he felt quite certain that we’re motivated not just by who we are right now, but by our images of who we might become.

Particularly, in risky situations, the other piece that’s highly motivating is the self you’re afraid you might become.

The last set of studies that we--we did is, we said, "Well, maybe what we’re ignoring, the reason that it’s sort of messier, is we’re ignoring context, and maybe we should take more seriously context."

So, if I’m in a context where it’s reasonably clear that things can go badly, and all I’m thinking about is my most desired possible self, is that motivating?

And the other mismatch, if I’m in a context where it’s likely that things are gonna go fabulously, but all I’m thinking about is how awful my--my feared possible self would be, is that motivating?

And maybe the problem isn’t to think about, is the positive desired possible self-motivating, or is the negative undesired feared possible self-motivating, but rather to say, it’s about the match between the context that you’re in, and the way that you’re imagining your possible self.

And sure enough, that’s what we found.

♪ (Mia) I ended up in foster care because my mother is a drug addict.

I didn’t mean to sound so happy about it, because I’m not, but like, she’s...

I have learned to laugh about my experience, by the way, so if I tend to laugh, I just, it’s already funny to me.

So, my mom is a drug addict.

My biological father is, was, abusive.

Now he is not, we have talked it out.

My grandma, may she rest her soul, she passed away, but like, she was a drug addict too.

I don’t talk to my biological mom at all.

She’s still a drug addict.

She’s gonna do what she does until the end of her days.

She’s a drug addict, she would abuse me and, like, her boyfriends would, like, abuse her too.

It’s like it happens without you realizing, because at a certain point it’s like, "Oh, it’s not even that bad," like, "This whoopin’ doesn’t even hurt."

Like, you’ll cry so much and then in between the whooping you’re just, like, numb, you don’t feel anything.

And you don’t-- you really don’t hear, or you don’t feel, like you’re just cut off from the world.

And then, it’s like, they’ll be like, "Oh, you’re not crying?

Okay, then I’mma hit you more."

And you’re like, "Okay, like, it doesn’t even hurt so keep going.

Like, I don’t care."

And that’s how it was.

So, I’ve learned to dole out a lot of pain.

It comes naturally now.

Well, let’s see if there’s a nice shady spot.

Oh, yeah, I think there is, actually.

How am I on that side?

(Alex) You’re okay, you’re just slanted.

You’re not crossing the line.

So, a few of the trombones from honor jazz, we’re gonna make a trombone quartet, and we’ve already decided on the first song we wanna learn.

-A medley of Les Mis.

-Of what?

Uh, I don’t actually know how to pronounce the full thing, but like, Le Mis-ér-ab-less.

(Bee) Me--Les Misérables.

Oh, yeah, there.

(Bee) I always think of trombones as being kind of the supporting instrument.

(Alex) They are, and that’s why there’s trombone quartets, so that we can have the melody sometimes.

(Bee) I see.

Well, Grampa Norman played in the Marine Corps.

Band, and he was very good.

Yeah.

(Bee) Very, very good.

He was a smart man.

You come by your brains from your family.

You know?

And Alice is smart.

Um...

Even your mother’s smart even though she doesn’t do smart things.

(Alex) Yeah.

(Bee) One of the nice things about getting older is you get better at accepting things you can’t change.

-Yeah.

-And... but you have to recognize at first, and then accept the fact you can’t change it, you have to live with that.

Yep.

Like, I hate being old now.

I’ve never told you that, but I hate it.

I wish I were 35 again.

(Alex) Well, if you can’t do anything about it... (Bee) No, I can’t.

(Alex) I can’t do anything about getting older, so... (Bee) No, but you’re just going in to your golden years.

-Not really.

-Does it feel that way?

-No, not at all.

-No?

Oh.

It’s a lot more stressful.

(Bee) Well... We can’t pick what we’re going to die of, or when we’re going to die, but I always think of the Woody Allen thing, of "I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens."

(Alex) Yeah.

And I identify with that.

(Alex) I think everybody does, to a certain extent.

Yeah.

Yeah, and we all want to just go to sleep and never wake up.

I mean, it might be a shock to your family, but...

I wouldn’t mind being awake.

-Hm?

-I wouldn’t mind being awake.

Because those are, like, the last moments you get with your family.

So, I’d rather spend that with my family than be asleep when I could’ve been awake, and I could’ve had those last few experiences.

(Bee) But what if you were in horrible pain?

(Alex) I mean, I doubt that, I feel like if I was in horrible pain I would be dead.

No, sometimes it’s not like that.

(Alex) I know.

Can I go home, Bee?

I’m really tired, I wanna go home.

-You wanna go home?

-Yes, I’m really tired.

(Bee) I noticed you’ve been yawning.

(Alex) Yes.

(engine starts, car chiming) (Bee) Will you go in and take a nap?

-Probably.

-Oh, okay.

Give me a kiss.

-I love you.

-I love you too, Bee.

(somber music) ♪ My mom and her siblings were in foster care.

♪ And I’m a second generation foster kid.

♪ I’m not sure exactly what tipped it off.

I do know that my grandmother had an abusive partner.

♪ And so, I just think it hurt her a lot more.

♪ Especially since, like, her first set of kids were put into foster care, and it’s like now I’m in foster care, and I was like her second chance.

♪ (crowd chatter) ♪ (crowd shouting) ♪ I still remember the day that I left.

♪ We had just gotten back from the beach, still had sand in my swim trunks, still had wet hair.

♪ And...I guess you could call him my uncle, he’s my grandmother’s boyfriend... ♪ He got really upset with me over something.

Like, taking out the trash or something.

Pushed me onto the floor, I hit my head against the wall.

And then before he did anything else, he just said, "You know what, go outside, I don’t want to hit you."

♪ He had locked me out of the house, I was out there until like 9:00 or 10:00.

♪ Ever since I was a little kid, we had always been arguing, fighting... ♪ Basically, I wanted to leave because things had started getting physical.

And things were emotionally, physically, mentally abusive.

♪ That’s what they wrote down on the court thing, too.

And we were sitting down with placement social workers, education people, my therapist, and they said, "Alex, would you consider going into a foster home?"

And I said, "Yes, please, I don’t want to go back to my grandmother’s house."

♪ I was trying not to cry the whole time because it was really sad to think about, like, everything.

But I realized that it would be good for me.

♪ I remember I hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch that day, and so I’d told my social worker about it.

And he said, "All right, let’s go to Denny’s."

And so me and him went to Denny’s.

I got spaghetti and meatballs and he got some sort of burger.

♪ After that, he took me straight to the group home.

♪ (indistinct chatter) Oh my gosh.

Oh, no, they’re tiny.

Oh, his claws.

Two of them have been adopted already, yesterday, and the owners have said they’re already purring and doing really well, so it just took-- it just takes one day of a lot of attention.

Did you say you do have a preference or you do not?

-I don’t.

-Okay, okay.

I can feel its little heart beating really fast.

(vet tech) Yeah, (indistinct).

That one seems to be settled right in.

That’s funny, that one’s just really... (Alex) I like this one too.

(Sue) That one’s super nice.

He fell asleep on you.

(soft music) ♪ (vet tech) Yeah, oh yeah, for sure, yeah.

(indistinct speaking) ♪ (Alex) When you go to see your girlfriend or your boyfriend’s parents, you know, they’re not sitting there treating you like you’re their daughter or you’re their son, they’re treating you as a guest.

♪ And so, imagine that feeling 24/7, where you’re just constantly a guest.

Sort of like, "Am I overstaying?

Am I a burden right now?

Am I acting the way I should act?"

♪ So, that’s sort of what foster care’s like, but each time it’s like you have to learn a whole new set of rules, you have to learn what people like, what people don’t like.

How this person acts, how this person acts.

-All four attached to you.

-Uh-oh.

(Alex) That’s not what family’s like, though.

They’re not gonna kick you out.

For real, they might kick you out, but they’re not going to kick you out forever, you know?

Like foster families would, like, say.

"You know, if you mess up again, like, you’re out."

You know?

But it’s like, you know, a real family would never.

♪ (cell phone chimes) ♪ Judges at each court probably make hundreds of decisions each day impacting children and families, from placement decisions, to service decisions, to life-changing decisions.

♪ Things like, Should we terminate the rights of this parent forever?"

There are many unforgettable moments.

You remember cases where-- I tend to like to try and remember cases where something positive happened, but there are cases where children died that haunt you.

You think to yourself, "Is there something I could’ve done better?

Something that I could’ve done that might’ve prevented that happening?

Did I make the right decision in that case?

What am I gonna do the next time I see the scenario?"

But at the end of the day, I think it’s important for all of us to try and remember the good things that happened.

And it will be there every single day, even what you consider to be your worst day on the bench, those positive things will be there.

If you can pinpoint those positive things, and let that be the last thing you think about before you leave that day, you can come back tomorrow and do it again.

♪ (indistinct chatter) (news anchor) Began early afternoon, on this frightening day in San Bernadino, -as the governor... -Hello, let me see.

Awe, you did!

See, you were pract-- you were practicing!

(overlapping news broadcasts) I have a lot of them that come to see me still.

I call them all my babies.

They my babies, no matter what.

They my babies.

And I tell them I’m here, you can be gone 10, 20 years, I’m still here.

Call me.

Still here.

And it’s really worth it to see the faces, to see them come back, to see them growing and prospering, to see them with a job, to see them driving down the street in they car and they hollering out, yes.

That’s a good feeling, to know that you can make a difference.

They may not get it now, but you know they taking it in, ’cause the more resistance you’re met with, you know they’re listening.

They not gonna tell you, but they listening.

They listening.

As long as I know some of the information that we’re putting out there is gonna reach them, I don’t worry about the rest of it.

♪ ’Cause it’ll come.

It’ll come.

(group) ♪ Happy birthday, dear Alyssa ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Cha-cha-cha ♪ (clapping) ♪ Happy birthday, dear Alex ♪ ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ (train whistle) ♪ (Alex) My mom’s in jail again, for some really bad stuff this time.

Six felonies and four misdemeanors.

♪ I was really sad to hear it, um, ’cause, honestly, like, I love my mom, you know?

I don’t know why, ’cause she hasn’t like... you know?

Like, she wasn’t really there in my life.

♪ Like, she just missed me growing up.

But I don’t know why, I just--I want her to be okay.

♪ The love I have for my biological mom is like that biological feeling.

♪ It’s not that I don’t like other people’s parents, I love other people’s parents, you know?

But I’ve never been able to call anybody mom or dad.

♪ (cell phone chimes) ♪ (Lyndsey) When young people have someone to lean on, when they see you as a responsible role model, when they hear you speaking life into them, talking about what’s possible, talking about their future.

And when that person becomes a consistent fixture in their life, you have single-handedly, without even realizing it, probably pivoted that young person’s journey to this new reality of what is possible.

And it’s a blessing.

It’s a blessing to be able to do that for young people that sometimes will never have a mom or dad.

Even when they get to 35, some of their parents will never come around, they will never figure out their mental health issues, they will never deal with their drug or substance abuse issues.

And so that young person has to figure it out on their own, but with that other person who is their mentor, who is speaking positively, who is showing this long-lasting love and care for them.

You can completely change their life.

♪ That’s how much consistent adults matter when people have had adverse childhood experiences and trauma after trauma.

♪ (indistinct chatter) (woman) Welcome, everybody, to our graduation celebration for our Cohort 2 students, from the First Star Bruin Guardian Scholars Academy.

Please rise, (indistinct).

(applause) (Mia) First and foremost, I think I’m totally selling you out, but, like, when I first got here, I didn’t really like any of y’all.

But like, no, it gets better.

(laughs) I didn’t really like anybody because I’m the type of person, like, I been through a lot so I tend to close off myself to others and I don’t like getting hurt, so I don’t like to get attached to people.

(tender music) And so, as, like, the years have progressed, like, I got super attached to all y’all, and, like, I consider y’all all my family.

But, like, I really do love all you guys.

And, honestly, BGSA is the reason I even applied to San Francisco State to attend with Bajing because my GPA started to really decrease ’cause I moved into a new foster home, like, everything was really bad, and I was like, "I’m not gonna get in, there’s no point in trying."

And I got accepted to two universities with--plus a scholarship.

(applause) And that’s all because of y’all, like, you guys are the reason that I’m progressing and I’m gonna become a biologist.

So, thank you.

(applause) (man) Nina Doriso.

(cheering) Lauren Elizabeth White.

(cheering) Joseph Espinoza.

(indistinct chatter) ♪ (majestic band music) ♪ (soft music) ♪ (soft, somber music) ♪ (Alex) I hate saying "homeless" ’cause I feel like "homeless" means living on the streets, but it doesn’t.

It just means you don’t have a home.

(serene music) ♪ When I got back from Drum Corps, I spent the night at my friend Sammy’s house.

I just forgot to tell Sue.

And, next morning, I got a phone call from her saying, like, "Do you even, like, respect the rules or anything?"

It was like...what?

Like...

I didn’t come home past 11:00.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.

And then, I just got this long text from Alan basically saying that they felt like they weren’t appreciated and that I had a week to move out.

And then, later that day, they said, "All you stuff’s in the garage.

Come get it."

They said that?

They said that they thought I was drinking and smoking?

All they told me was that I was being disrespectful and all I said was, "Okay."

You know?

I didn’t know anything.

When I was there, I felt so held back.

Like, them saying I can’t do-- Like, I wanted to be a scientist, I wanted to be a physicist, you know?

That was my dream.

And I really felt like I could’ve done that, you know?

But they told me I couldn’t.

Like, I wasn’t smart enough.

Like, I wasn’t chasing it hard enough.

-They said that?

-Yeah.

Sue told me, like, I kept telling her, you know, "This is what I want to do."

And she just kept telling me, "No, you can’t do that."

Like, "If you really wanted to do that, you would have been doing it since, like, 6th grade."

And I just...

I just felt like I was so held back, you know?

And to think that... that I let other people tell me that I couldn’t do something.

Who knows?

Maybe I would’ve loved science.

Maybe I would’ve loved physics.

Maybe I really would’ve done something like that, you know?

How do you tell the people that are taking care of you, and how do you tell the people that you look up to, "Hey, you know what?

You’re wrong.

I can do it."

Whether or not, you know, like how are you supposed to do that?

To think that after the three years that we have been living together that they couldn’t just talk to me about something like that.

You know?

It was just... (somber music) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (Mike) There you go.

(tattoo gun buzzing) I--I was an idiot growing up.

Drug addict.

Alcoholic.

You know, prison, most of my teenage years.

And, matter of fact, that’s where I learned this.

That’s exactly where I learned this.

And, uh, so when the time came to adopt Al, there was no second-guessing that.

It needed to be done.

It needed to be done.

We had no idea DCFS was gonna treat us so bad.

They put me under the microscope.

Where’s your dragon?

Gonna touch that up, too.

(tattoo gun buzzing) Accusations.

Accusations.

They accused me... of child abuse.

And...wasn’t true.

But it’s done.

It’s doner than done, it’s the past.

We survived it, you’re here.

-You know?

-Yeah.

Past is the past.

All we can do is prove ’em wrong.

(tattoo gun buzzing) Enough, enough about that.

(Alex) Yeah.

(Mike) Think we’re done with that one.

(tattoo gun buzzing) It helps not to look.

-Really?

-Yeah, a little bit.

(man) Yeah.

(Alex) So, I got the bumble bee ’cause growing up, I didn’t know how to say my grandma’s name.

Um, so I just started calling her "Bee."

Um, and that’s-- (Mike) That’s where she got-- the name stuck!

(Alex) Yeah, the name, I guess, just stuck.

(Mike) The name stuck.

(laughing) That’s exactly what happened.

(tattoo gun buzzing) (serene music) ♪ (man) This one can be standing.

(Mia) Can I put it here?

Yeah.

(Mia) My parents, they’re, like, strict in their own way.

I’m having struggles.

I don’t know how you’re doing this.

Slow but steady.

(Mia) Like, they discipline, but they let you make your mistakes, so then you realize what you can do to fix them.

’Cause my mom’s young.

Like, she’s a young mom, you know?

And, like, I feel like she just understands.

Like, my dad, like, he is the "joke with you" kind of person, like, he’s teaching me how to drive.

I sit on their bed and I talk to them, and I can just cry and everything’s fine.

As a foster kid, you don’t come around that often.

You don’t find that a lot, you know?

♪ (door unlocking) ♪ (screaming joyfully) (Bajing) Hey!

Oh, my God!

Oh, come on!

(Mia) I’m trying to get the key out the door.

(Bajing) Here, let me help you, let me help you.

Ah!

This is all your stuff?

Hi!

(roommate) I’m gonna wait for someone, so just put-- yeah, I’ll hook it.

(Mia) Now is this... (roommate) Yeah, look, at first they-- Okay, you got a lot of stuff.

(Bajing) Yeah.

Do you?

(Mia) Um, not--yeah, I do.

(Bajing) And they gave us that stuff over there.

(Mia) What’s this?

-This pillows?

-Pillows, yeah.

Ooh, a goodie bag.

(Mia’s foster dad) One, two, and three.

(phone camera snaps) Take care, okay, you take care of yourself, and good luck, okay?

Anything you can text us or anything.

(Mia’s foster mom) Text us, okay?

One you finish your supplies or whatever and your social worker doesn’t get back to you, call us, text me, and don’t waste your money on things that you don’t need.

Don’t go crazy with your money.

(Mia) I won’t.

I’m not--I’m not gonna cry.

(laughing) (Mia’s foster dad) You’re flying solo now.

Believe me.

Ooh, trying not to cry!

(laughing) I don’t wanna go!

(crying) -Okay, you’re gonna be okay.

-Mia.

(Mia’s foster mom) You’re gonna be fine.

Girl.

See?

You’re gonna get through this, look, right here.

(Mia’s foster dad) You’re gonna be fine.

Anything, you know, you can text.

You know you can count on us, all right?

Go to your dorm, go have fun with your roommate, fix your room.

You got a lot to do over there, okay?

Don’t cry, come on.

-You’re strong.

-You got this.

(Mia’s foster dad) Be strong, stay strong, okay?

(Mia’s foster mom) All right, gotta go ’cause I’m gonna get a ticket and I’ll send you the ticket if we get it.

(Mia’s foster dad) All right, Mia.

(Mia’s foster mom) Just keep walking, don’t look back.

(Mia’s foster dad) Keep walking, don’t look back, okay?

Again, bye.

-Good luck, mija, okay?

-Okay.

-Love you, okay?

-Love you too.

-All right?

-Okay.

(Mia’s foster dad) Don’t look back.

Mia, we love you, okay?

(crying) Okay, let’s go.

(clears throat) Where are you guys going?

(Bajing) We’re gonna go look at our classes.

(Mia) I don’t even know where my classes are.

-Wanna come?

-Yeah.

I have nothing better to do.

(Bajing) Okay, we’re all gonna find our classes.

All right, my first class, I have to go to 283, but right now we’re going to 101 through 108, so, whatever number you have just-- Okay, I have 107.

(peaceful music) ♪ (Alex) So, I’m in a transitional housing program, which is something for foster youth.

It assists them with living if they don’t have legal guardians taking care of them.

Gosh, why is it-- I need to dust.

You know, I never believed adults when they were like, "You gotta dust."

But you really do.

Look how sweet this plate is, and it was so dusty.

♪ It says, "You make the world a better place just by being in it."

♪ So, I’m starting college after a year of not going to school.

I’m starting my major in music.

♪ We’re good.

♪ I’m excited for school, in all honesty.

Excited to be around music again.

I’m excited to just be able to play.

I haven’t really just been able to relax and, like, practice for a while.

♪ Musicianship, Wind Ensemble, and then Music Theory.

That’s what we got going on today.

♪ After I got kicked out, I just lost my focus, you know?

Over the better half of the year, I could say I’ve been depressed and I’ve gained a lot of weight.

♪ It was rough, and I guess it still is.

Yeah, I know, it’s supposed to be the end, like, let’s go happy-go-lucky, you know?

But this isn’t the end of my story.

This just happens to be where I start school.

♪ (phone dings) ♪ All right, it’s the first day of school and, uh, we’re seven minutes away.

I’m kinda nervous.

Traffic, yay!

But it’s okay, ’cause I’m actually going to school this time.

All right, but we’re here.

Sorry, I’m still very, uh-- It’s a little weird after, like, a year of no school.

-Yeah.

-You know, I keep saying that, but it’s, like... I’m excited though.

You’re all set, you’re waiting on me?

Well, I-- (laughing) -Okay.

-Ready?

Yeah.

Guess I’m as ready as I can be.

Oh, boy, okay, let’s go.

Life is about being out of your comfort zone.

Here we go.

(inspirational music) ♪ ♪ (male singer) ♪ Hush my troubled mind and rest ♪ ♪ ♪ I need to breathe and clear my head ♪ ♪ ♪ Shut my eyes and dream of things ♪ ♪ ♪ I could have done much differently ♪ ♪ ♪ Wait for me now ♪ ♪ ♪ I might come around ♪ ♪ I might come around to this ♪ ♪ ♪ Find common ground ♪ ♪ ♪ Before we lose our heads ♪ ♪ Before we scrub our minds in bliss ♪ ♪ (vocalizing) ♪ ♪ I told you once, I’ll tell you twice ♪ ♪ ♪ You have my heart until I die ♪ ♪ ♪ Built up from the love, torn down by pride ♪ ♪ ♪ A family made from a new design ♪ ♪ ♪ Wait for me now ♪ ♪ ♪ I might come around ♪ ♪ I might come around to this ♪ ♪ ♪ Find common ground ♪ ♪ ♪ Before we lose our heads ♪ ♪ Before we scrub our minds in bliss ♪ ♪ (vocalizing) ♪ ♪ ♪ Wait for me now ♪ ♪ ♪ I might come around ♪ ♪ I might come around to this ♪ ♪ ♪ Find common ground ♪ ♪ ♪ Before we lose our heads ♪ ♪ Before we scrub our minds in bliss ♪ ♪ (vocalizing) ♪ ♪