[ WINGS FLUTTERING ] Lein: YOU KNOW WHY I CALL YOU MONSTER?

BECAUSE YOU BEHAVE LIKE A MONSTER.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

HUH?

WHAT?

YOU TELL ME BECAUSE I'M OUT OF IDEAS.

I'M SICK OF THIS...

IF YOU CAN'T BE NICE, THEN YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO STAY HERE, THEN, CAN YOU?

Robbie: WHY IS HE SUCH AN ASS...?

Lein: HAND ME THE CORN.

HERE YOU GO.

Robbie: LET'S PLAY GTA.

I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN FIND THE HIDDEN SCENE.

Lein: I CAN'T.

Robbie: WHY NOT?

Lein: ROBBIE, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WATCH YOU KILL PROSTITUTES TODAY.

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ] [ HORN HONKS ] Robbie: HEY.

YOU'RE LEIN'S FRIEND FROM BOSTON?

YOU USED TO LIVE HERE, RIGHT?

Amber: DOES YOUR DAD SMOKE?

Robbie: WHAT?

NO.

Amber: YOUR MOM?

Robbie: YEAH.

Amber: COULD YOU GET LIKE THREE CIGARETTES AND BRING THEM OVER, PLEASE?

THANKS.

Robbie: SHE LIVES IN ARIZONA.

[ RATTLING ] Amber: COULD YOU STOP THAT, PLEASE?

HOW OLD ARE YOU ANYWAY?

Robbie: ALMOST 14.

Amber: WELL, ALMOST-14, I'M AMBER, AND I'M ALMOST 17.

Lein: OH, MY GOD, I TOTALLY HATE SUMMER SCHOOL.

IT'S SO LAME.

I TOLD MY MOM IT WAS TOTALLY STUPID FOR ME TO LEARN HOW TO TYPE.

LIKE, WHY DOES SHE THINK I NEED HOW TO TYPE PROPERLY?

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA BE LIKE A SECRETARY OR SOMETHING.

IT'S SO '50s.

I'M SO BORED.

Robbie: I FOUND THOSE HIDDEN SCENES IN GTA.

Amber: GTA?

Robbie: "GRAND THEFT AUTO"?

IT HAS LIKE HOOKER SEX SCENES.

THEY'RE -- THEY'RE LIKE, EMBEDDED, BUT I FOUND THEM.

THE SECOND ONE HAPPENS IN A CONVERTIBLE, THEN SHE GETS SHOT AT THE END.

Lein: GO AWAY, ROBBIE.

Robbie: WHATEVER.

Lein: I HAVE 23 BIRDS NOW.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE THEM?

WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?

WHAT?

THEY DON'T FIT.

Amber: YOU LOOK CUTE.

Lein: I LOOK STUPID IN THESE.

Amber: DO YOU THINK I LOOK STUPID IN THEM?

Lein: NO.

Amber: THEN WHY DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK STUPID IN THEM?

Lein: I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST DO.

I FEEL STUPID.

Amber: JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL STUPID DOESN'T MEAN YOU LOOK STUPID.

Lein: AND THAT'S HENRY.

REMEMBER HIM?

RUBIX, BECAUSE HE'S TOUGH TO FIGURE OUT.

THAT'S MURDER.

HE HAS SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER SO HE'S, LIKE MEAN, BUT HE'S KIND OF MY FAVORITE.

JUST COME LOOK AT THEM, PLEASE?

SEE, THEY'RE CUTE.

YOU USED TO LIKE THEM.

Amber: THEY REEK.

[ SOFT, INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ] Amber: SO, I WANT LIKE FIVE HOLES GOING ALL THE WAY UP, BUT THE HOOPS KEEP GETTING SMALLER, YOU KNOW?

SO, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU AND ROBBIE?

IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND?

Lein: NO, HE'S LIKE 10.

Amber: ACTUALLY, HE'S ALMOST 14.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, RIGHT?

BONERS, ALL DAY LONG.

Lein: EW.

Amber: YEA, HE PROBABLY GETS THEM WHEN YOU GUYS ARE, LIKE, TOGETHER AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Lein: OH, MY GOD.

Amber: I GUESS HE COULD BE CUTE.

MAYBE.

Lein: WELL, ACTUALLY, I WAS GONNA TELL YOU -- UM, ME AND ROBBIE ARE GETTING MARRIED, AND YOU'RE MY MAID OF HONOR.

[ BOTH LAUGH ] Amber: STUPID.

GOD, I FEEL SO FAT.

[ COOING ] COME ON.

I'M GONNA ASK HIM FOR A CIGARETTE.

COME WITH ME.

PLEASE?

Lein: IS IT BECAUSE HE'S BLACK?

Lein: UM, NO.

Amber: IS IT BECAUSE HE'S A PIG?

HEY.

Dante: WHAT'S UP?

Amber: CAN I BUM ONE?

Dante: [ SIGHS ] YEAH.

Amber: WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

I'M AMBER.

Dante: DANTE.

Lein: SO... WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH A PIG SELLING FLU SHOTS ANYWAY?

I WOULD NEVER GET A SHOT IN THE MALL.

I'D TOTALLY GET HEPATITIS OR SOMETHING.

Amber: HEY, ARE YOU ON FACEBOOK?

Dante: YEAH.

WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?

Amber: LUGARDI.

Dante: LUGARDI.

HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT?

Amber: L-U-G-A-R-D-I.

Lein: CAN I TRY THAT ON?

Dante: UM...YEAH.

[ CHUCKLES ] YO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

I'LL ADD YOU.

Lein: OH, I'M NOT ON FACEBOOK.

Dante: WHAT?

Lein: WELL, I MEAN, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE FAKE.

WE'RE ALL ALREADY FAKE.

SO FACEBOOK'S JUST KIND OF LIKE, "BE EVEN FAKER."

SO NOW REAL PEOPLE HAVE TO BE FAKE TO BE REAL.

Dante: THAT SMELLS GOOD.

Amber: DO YOU WANT A PIECE?

Dante: WHAT FLAVOR IS IT?

Amber: [ EXHALES ] Dante: STRAWBERRY.

[ BUZZING ] [ BUZZING STOPS ] [ RATTLING ] Lein: WHAT?

Robbie: YOU HAVE MAKEUP ON.

Lein: SO?

Robbie: IT LOOKS RETARDED.

Amber: SHE DOES NOT.

SHE LOOKS HOT.

Lein: AMBER, YOU FEED THEM.

Amber: I'M GOOD.

Robbie: I TOLD HER IT'S WEIRD TO HAVE ALL THESE BIRDS.

Lein: NO, IT'S NOT.

Robbie: YEAH, IT IS.

Lein: WELL, THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?

Amber: BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU.

Robbie: NO, I DON'T.

Amber: OH, MY GOD.

PLEASE.

IT'S TOTALLY OBVIOUS.

HAVE YOU GUYS...?

Lein: WHAT?

NO!

Amber: OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T.

YOU'RE BOTH VIRGINS.

FORGOT.

Robbie: I'M NOT.

Amber: OH, YEAH?

Robbie: YEAH.

Amber: WELL, DO YOU HAVE HAIR ON YOUR PEE PEE?

Robbie: WHAT?

Amber: THAT'S HOW I CAN TELL IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN OR NOT.

VIRGINS DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR.

Robbie: I'VE GOT HAIR.

Amber: OKAY.

PROVE IT.

Robbie: NO.

Lein: THEN YOU'RE A VIRGIN.

Robbie: NOT IN FRONT OF LEIN.

Amber: OKAY.

GET IN THERE.

WAIT HERE FOR A SECOND, LEIN.

[ LAUGHS ] [ Laughing ] HE HAD LIKE TWO HAIRS.

[ BOTH LAUGH ] [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] YEAH, I SLIPPED OUT OF MY LITTLE COUNTRY I TRAVELED SEASONS, TOOK A LONG BOAT AND NOW I FIND MYSELF IN A SMALL... </P> </SYNC> </Body>